I am not really much of an american football fan. I have no concept of how to play the game, and all of the numbers and the terms that are involved in the game are virtually impossible for me to comprehend. And then I came up with a theory, that made the game more bearable for the slightly-less knowledgeable (and I know I am not the only one.)
American football looks like a game invented by children.
Okay. So the referees have their little foul flags. That is just just ridiculously hilarious. I do not understand how throwing these teeny little multi-colored handkerchiefs in the air could attract any attention from the players or the fans. They are just too damn small.
Then, you have the players. They are wearing so much padding on their bodies, that I cannot distinguish between human flesh or plastic. And don’t even get me started about the helmets. I am so jealous of the potential space for Hot Wheels flame stickers, that I think I might die. Except that the helmets wouldn’t even come close to fitting my head.
And then you have what the players are actually doing. It involves changing direction, sprinting and best of all… tackling. And lots of it. There are men flying all around the pitch, flinging themselves onto other men that are flinging themselves onto other men. It is a vicious cycle (literally.)
The amount of time spent between plays is also pretty interesting to watch. Just like in childhood games, you have the one kid who is telling everyone if the play was fair (the referees.) Then you have the one really aggressive kid who thinks he is right and deserves the ball all the time (the really aggressive players.) There is also the hot-shot kid who decides that he is a lone wolf, and just waits in position while the other players just bicker and/or discuss what they had for dinner last night.
There are just so many rules. It’s as though one minute you’re playing tag, and the next moment you’ve added a random, ugly ball you found in the basement, your uncle’s war helmet and your great-grandmother’s doilies and start making it all so much more complicated. And fun. If you watch the next football game from this perspective, it will be far more enjoyable (unless you know how to play, in which case this whole post was pretty much useless.)
As for the chili lime popcorn, it is somewhat of a required taste. Some people will hate it. And others will like it. And others will like it only after the first couple of days (don’t judge, but it tasted good even the day after. Odd.) Anyway, if this sounds like something that will float your boat, then give it a try. Enjoy!
Chili Lime Popcorn
Original Nerd With Taste Recipe
1/2 cup of popcorn kernels
1-2 Tbs. oil
1 1/2 tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. lime juice
1) In a large pot, pour in 1 tablespoon of oil. Add the kernels, and put on medium heat.
2) Cover the pot, and manually shake the pot by the handles in order to prevent the popcorn from sticking to the bottom and burning in the oil.
3) Once the popping has stopped, open the lid and move the popped popcorn to a large bowl (large enough to mix ingredients thoroughly.)
4) If there are still more kernels left, then put another tablespoon of oil in the pot and repeat step 2.
5) Once the popcorn has been popped, carefully sprinkle the chili powder and the salt all over the popcorn, moving the seasoned popcorn aside to make room for the unseasoned popcorn.
6) Do the same thing with the lime juice, making sure not to dump the lime juice in only one area.
PS: If this offended anyone, I am sorry. It was not meant to make fun of anyone except for me and my lack of knowledge of american football. Thanks!